A concerned parent has expressed her worries about her 23-year-old son, Ed, whose lifestyle has shifted dramatically since he began dating a new girlfriend, Emily. In a letter to the advice column “Dear Abby,” the mother described Ed as previously dedicated to fitness and health but now exhibiting behaviors that diverge from family values.
According to the mother, Ed was committed to maintaining a clean and active lifestyle. He regularly attended the gym and adhered to a healthy diet. However, his relationship with Emily, who she described as being significantly overweight and lacking basic hygiene, has raised alarms. The mother noted that Emily has left her lingerie in their home on multiple occasions, an act that she found troubling and indicative of a broader issue.
The mother stated, “My son hasn’t cut his hair in two and a half years and no longer appears to be as into working out.” She expressed concern that Emily’s influence is altering Ed’s character and values, which she believes do not align with their family’s standards of cleanliness and fitness.
In her letter, she contemplated whether to address these changes directly with Ed. The advice from Abigail Van Buren, known as Dear Abby, suggested refraining from blaming Emily for Ed’s choices. Abby emphasized that Ed is an adult making his own decisions and that a conversation about hygiene might be better received if initiated by his father.
Abby also pointed out that if Ed and Emily reside with his parents, it is reasonable to request that the couple maintain a certain level of cleanliness in shared spaces. She advised the mother to encourage Ed to use available resources, such as a hamper for dirty clothes.
In another letter, a widow reflected on her marriage of 56 years and the secret elopement that preceded it. She revealed that she and her late husband had been married in both Las Vegas and California. The widow expressed uncertainty about whether to disclose this information to her adult daughters.
Abby reassured her that elopements among young couples in love are not something to be ashamed of. She advised the widow to keep the Las Vegas marriage certificate safe rather than destroy it, indicating that it holds legal significance.
The “Dear Abby” column, founded by Pauline Phillips and continued by her daughter Jeanne Phillips, provides advice on a variety of personal issues. Readers can submit their inquiries through the column’s website or by mail.
For those navigating complex family dynamics and personal changes, the insights shared in these letters highlight the importance of communication and understanding in maintaining relationships.
