A letter to the renowned advice column “Dear Abby” has highlighted a troubling dynamic in a long-term marriage. A woman from Ohio, referred to as “Takeout,” shared her experience with her husband’s controlling behavior, particularly regarding their fast-food orders. During a recent call to place an order, the husband insisted on verifying the price of each item, leading to a heated disagreement when the prices differed from those listed online.
The argument escalated when the husband expressed frustration over the situation, ultimately declaring, “Just forget it!” Following this, “Takeout” called back to cancel the order, feeling pressured and emotionally overwhelmed. She believes that his behavior is not only controlling but potentially emotionally abusive, especially given her health struggles following a stroke that limits her ability to perform mental arithmetic swiftly.
In her letter, she explained that despite their financial stability, her husband’s insistence on scrutinizing every expense stems from his difficult upbringing. He has consistently reacted negatively in similar situations, often suggesting that she should leave if she disagrees with him. After more than 40 years of marriage, “Takeout” is seeking advice on how to address the emotional toll this dynamic has taken on her well-being.
In response, Abigail Van Buren, who writes the “Dear Abby” column, advised that moving forward, “Takeout’s” husband should take responsibility for ordering the fast food himself. She suggested that if he wants a collaborative approach, he should guide her through the calculations rather than causing distress. The columnist emphasized the importance of open communication and urged the husband to consider the implications of their financial disagreements on their relationship.
Van Buren also highlighted the cost of divorce compared to marriage counseling, suggesting that the couple should explore professional help to resolve their issues.
In a related segment, Van Buren addressed another letter from “Regretful in the Midwest,” who expressed concern over a colleague making derogatory comments about transgender individuals. Kevin H. from California provided feedback, stating that such behavior should not be tolerated in the workplace and encouraged reporting it to management.
Van Buren acknowledged the feedback and clarified that terminology surrounding gender identity has evolved. In particular, she noted that the term “gender identity disorder” has been replaced with “gender dysphoria” in the latest edition of the DSM, emphasizing that gender nonconformity should not be classified as a disorder.
Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, continues the legacy of her mother, Pauline Phillips, who founded the column. For those seeking advice, “Dear Abby” can be contacted via their website or through postal mail at the address provided.
